Archive for January 6th, 2018


Saturday, January 6th, 2018

I often see it from the perspective of seemingly much of the world (in the west). I consider that no matter what “damage” may be caused, that the correct path is to love, and be a great example for the future world, to mitigate whatever negative may come from sacrifice of identity, and some specific genetic type (what may come from mixing of races, for instance, such as the potential for lesser intelligence in offspring, than one parent-group, such as say Ashkenazi Jew, or Han Chinese, mixing with in some equal measure, Subsaharan African – these distinctions aren’t perfect; Subsaharan African can be many, where Ashkenazi Jew is a much narrower group).

I often think that no matter “truths”, of our differences, that saying them may be more damaging than just rolling with the punches, with the right idea in mind. That is, thinking of what we can do to improve, generally.

I often see it seemingly like others, and in the face of other racists, who I often find to be dumbasses (and often not…), I may defend the side that wants more tolerant attitudes. It isn’t that I am not, or that I am not for tolerance (and love), and it isn’t as if I choose to be “racist”, but sometimes, as ugly as it is, I think it’s kind of necessary.

I think most people are secret racists. It isn’t even that the races exist, absolutely. But there are clusters of very similar things, that co-developed, moreso than they developed cooperatively with others. It’s subtle. Even as a “racist”, I find it hard to really, completely distinguish, but there are differences that are meaningful between the so-called races, and I believe they do matter, if-even only because humans are weak and limited creatures and not always functioning with “perfection” (not to say God isn’t perfect). They’re often insecure. They seek to have their own voice heard, or hear it from another. Expressions are language, communicated through like-faces, more capable of communicating with like-faces. The shape just fits better…

Had a dream about a girl

Saturday, January 6th, 2018

there was like a time in my life, that I didn’t remember, where I met her, and was with her for a time. I met her again, and remembered. I don’t remember the details of this dream. She had red wine, and it symbolized something. I forget. I remember there was a name, and I forget it.

I don’t know why I would try to connect this, but I did. I went to the grocery when I woke up, and I saw a girl I went to school with, with her daughter. I didn’t say anything to her. I have considered “pursuing” her, before. She is always dating someone, though, and honestly I don’t see much compatibility, for reasons. But I considered the seeing her after this dream, even though I don’t see any real connection.

Across the street, I got gas. While getting gas, ahead of me I saw a car pulling back toward me, out of it’s space. It’s plate was 385 and letters MGZ. The girl’s daughter is named Maggie, and I seem to recall her calling her “Mags”, in Facebook posts, so when I saw this directly after, I considered this. 385 is a number I have been finding focus on lately.

I don’t know. I just wanted to write.

385 I first “saw” with some consideration that I currently can remember inside a graphic in the shape of a butterfly. I have since made associations with multiple things, including fruit, to this number. The other night I went to Whole Foods, and a very “plump” female was at the register. She is new– this was the first I saw of her. She has red/orange hair, which is real, because you can see her eyebrows are also orange (and there are just phenotypical markers that go with being ginger…you can tell if someone has dyed their hair). As I stood there, waiting for my turn in the lane, I looked down and saw Taylor Swift’s ‘reputation’ album, as I was facing it. I used my gift-certificate that my parents gave me for the groceries, and then I saw, directly from processing ‘her’ – her album there in front of me, that the remainder that I owed after using the certificate was 11.10, and considered that this, 11/10 is the date that the album came out. Then I saw a multi-colored butterfly pendant ¬†at the end of a necklace the girl (Alex) at the register was wearing.

I don’t really think this is anything that I might think. I don’t want to make judgments, though, either way. I don’t even know if what I am seeing or hearing or thinking or feeling is straight-forward. In-fact, it would seem I might be stupid at this point to think anything was straight-forward. My “judgement” is often reserved. I may love, but this is what I might consider, within the margins that make up my perception in this reality (?) – unconditional. But, no matter how “close” I feel sometimes, I understand things are not quite as they may seem, especially if I’ve made a conclusion, except for perhaps “love”. But this kind of love also lets go. Or at least, consciously, I try to. Admittedly, sometimes it’s a struggle. This world drags me in, and tempts me, no matter how I may resist.

I still have self-interest. I try to find that in alignment with what exists…

Fuck your “watchlist”

Saturday, January 6th, 2018

Ha-ha. Fuck you.

I hope Jeff Sessions is shot

Saturday, January 6th, 2018

or in some other way, his life is ended. I’ll take ousting him from power, though.


Saturday, January 6th, 2018

I consider it kind of odd in ways that we even have countries as large as this one anymore. The fact that a “federal” government has so much power, seems tyrannical. It’s unnecessary. We should be able to cooperate for national defense, and have a certain kind of knitting between the states, but there should not be such a federal government that allows some fucking fuck like Jeff Sessions to influence the lives of countless people.

Frankly, it’s insulting.