Archive for December 28th, 2017

Don’t make it like a haunted house assholes.

Thursday, December 28th, 2017

I guess I could go the “sweet” way

Thursday, December 28th, 2017

and not get mad, no matter what, as long as it isn’t overtly attacking me. I’m thinking about the other night when I viewed a picture/pictures of someone from Henderson, TN, then opened OKCupid to see, after an interesting image (after I had not opened it in a long time – not using it so much in the past couple years), after an interesting image of a person, named Rose, someone from it seemed to be from Hendersonville, TN– a place far outside of the search area so not to be expected, but coming as it did right after, or with thoughts of one from Hendersonville, TN, I don’t know the words to use….

I understand in hindsight I shouldn’t react in anger, but it really is frustrating when it feels like I’m being watched, and I can’t see what is watching me. I don’t think that God or ‘spirits’ of sorts operate in our reality this way. They don’t break rules like this…But I know that occasionally it will show me someone from outside the search area – in this ‘swipe’ feature. It may be because they were passing through, or something, near this area. I don’t know. So I can’t even confirm that what I got mad about was really out of the norm. If it was absolutely verifiable that it shouldn’t act this way, then I would have a reason to be suspicious. I don’t even really have that. What I experienced was a kind of coincidence.

Earlier this night I heard “Dope Show” by Marilyn Manson. He mentions “covers” and “love” in a part of this song, together, and this first occurred, or did occur once, as I was passing a truck with her name– Swift.

…And I have to give some challenge to that association. She is not the only ‘Swift’. Swift didn’t begin with her. But in my consciousness, the name resonates with her the most, right now. She carries it. I have related with it more ways than I had before, through her.

I had found her around “covers” recently. She released new media after deleting her old (on social media) on the day of an eclipse, and I first started to think of her prior to this, through a connection of association made to a friend of hers – who I associated with her, who wore a see-through yellow shirt in an image that I saw right after I saw an image for FarCry 5, where a man is wearing yellow-lens glasses in the center of a group at a table that is supposed to look like the last supper- He being in Jesus’s position…and I wondered what it would look like to see through those lenses, thinking of the yellow color, and then opened Instagram to see a picture of her. I started to consider her, as well, in a way that one might consider a romantic-interest. She has a disease that means “wolf”, and a woman in a bridal dress and veil is in this image (the only woman in it) in a position with a wolf-looking canine, both white color (dress and wolf).

So I had a crush on her friend. I don’t think calling it a “crush” satisfies it. But I considered Taylor through her, not that the thoughts of her were new with this. It was just harder to not consider?

Selena, who I saw wearing see-through yellow just after I wondered what it would be like to see through the yellow lenses, has Lupus, meaning “wolf”. I related with her birthday being 7/22, opposite of my mother’s (‘numerologically’), being the 203rd day of the year, which when added to the day of the year I was born (162) made 365. I considered “Loop” with this– Lupus. Loop us. How things seemed to be on a kind of circle with other things. I couldn’t really arrange things in a ¬†higher or lower than way, or better or not as good. I saw it as all together. But I also struggled with how this was used. How she had this disease, that also “fit”, in some ‘way’. Hmm.

Her next-released single was called Wolves.

I see how some things sync up, in ways, and this is enough to drive me a bit insane. When I see communications from programs, such as Facebook sending me a notification of a synchronicity about breakdowns when my car broke down, that was a post that was made hours earlier and I was just now receiving it, and other things, it makes me feel like someone is watching. One can understand how this is troubling. ¬†Still I can’t confirm anything, and perhaps if I had not eaten bananas that night that Henderson TN showed up I may not have reacted that way. I tend to let things go when I don’t eat sugar, like that. So maybe when I don’t eat sweet I can be sweet. Ha. Ha. But still, people, if they do this, need to stop. If they watch, they need to just knock on my fucking door.