10/23

By my view, I paid attention to Zena Lotus Grey through the band Tool, when I looked into her father’s-Alex Grey’s work after he collaborated with the band, Tool, who I listened to. I listened to Tool-introduced by my friend Ryan Boulware, who I went to a Nine Inch Nails concert with, asking him from a connection in Mr. Glowacki’s class-Our media teacher in High School, and he said yes, and was excited because A Perfect Circle was to be there, a new band by Maynard James Keenan of Tool, who he liked- who I had yet to get into. I got into Nine Inch Nails, from my memory, as my brother suggested them to me after I listened to Gravity Kills, and God Lives Underwater. I think my brother also exposed me to God Lives Underwater. Perhaps I also liked Depeche Mode, before, so electronic music may have spurred associations to Nine Inch Nails. I do remember hearing Nine Inch Nails before, however, as my sister really liked the song, “Hurt”, and I remember hearing it multiple times.

At that first Nine Inch Nails concert I began smoking cigarettes. I think I smoked two packs by myself when there, and I liked the way my voice sounded after (raspy and cool), so I continued smoking. I also drank vodka. I remember Ryan got sick, and we met some military girls after the concert, where they spent time with us in my car.

Anyways, so there is a summary of how I became exposed.

I had a certain attraction to Zena. There has been, well, coincidences of number, and relevant association, that has kept it going. I don’t want to get into that now, but her birthday, 11/15, has been one fact that has been of importance. Currently, for one very small example of something relative, she works at a place called Cinefamily, where the address is 611, which is like my birthday, 6/11.

Skipping over a lot of details, I need to step back, before I became aware of her–I was dating or involved with a girl named Alisha. She had my mother’s maiden name. I sought after her for many years. I asked her to marry me, and it probably could have happened, as her response was positive, but it was complicated, and that didn’t happen. I noticed Zena while in this involvement.

Alisha’s last name is the same as my mother’s last name, or her maiden name was, Finch. Zena’s middle name, Lotus, is the first community-name outside of Liberty, where my mother is from, on 27-on the way to where I was born, Oxford. My mom began her labor in Liberty, and I was born in Oxford. Honestly, I feel I’m butchering this story, but I really just want to get to what I meant to talk about with this post.

So perhaps I’ll get there:

In later years, after attention was focused on others, I noticed that another actress who is prominent/in the spotlight (glow…), Shailene Woodly also has a birthday of 11/15. I wasn’t specifically attracted to her, as in, I hadn’t in a psychotic manner, like perhaps I had with Zena, observed and had fantasy about her, or entertained the idea of some destiny with her, where we were to be together. I didn’t consider he unattractive, but just hadn’t really considered her that way. She was just an actress. Just a human. Her hair wasn’t RED. But, I allowed myself to investigate more about her, and consider her on a more human-personal level, as in, “this person is alive, breathing, and lovely, and meaningful”–I don’t know what words to use here. As I drove one night, I “sent love”, as I found it for her, and in that same instant where I was looking, when I felt that love, which was true (though not attached/it was “unconditional”, and recognition of her), I saw a meteor break up in the atmosphere/I saw a “falling star”. It was just an instant of coincidence, with a charged emotion/love for another. Another time I remember being in perfect timing with a “falling star”, and making such a “connection”, I was tripping on 2C-D on the golf course, and felt watched. I heard voices, while hiding in the shadow of a tree. I was extremely tense/anxious. In a moment, my tension sent my head upward toward the sky and I met a falling star, where I heard a tiny voice say “did he see us?!”. Then I went home and there was a special on about aliens, on CNN…
Anyways… No, I’ll detail that. I remember something specifically about the show: The person talking said that if there are “extra-terrestrial intelligences, where are they?”–It was something like that, and in that moment where he asked where they were, a big gust of wind almost blew him over, which in that state of mind, the synchronicity of it, I considered the “extra-terrestrial intelligence” to be kind of of things, interwoven, a spirit within it, or something. Extra-terrestrial just means “above ground”, after all. It was somewhat humorous. Playful. I don’t really know. But, perhaps it’s all “intelligent”. Perhaps we’re in intelligence.

I don’t mean to get ahead of myself, or be disrespectful to my experience, or to God, or “them”, or “it”, or you. Sometimes this is hard to share. To communicate everything. And, I know I’m impatient. I want it done. I want to transfer the message. To share.

Again, I leave a ton out.

Alisha had a similar experience, talking with her sister on a roof-top in Germany. She never saw shooting stars, she said, and I always told her on the phone that I saw them, perhaps talking to her at the time outdoors, at home or at work. She never saw them- perhaps just never took the time to look at the sky long enough/to be able to observe. The first time she saw one she had just mentioned to her sister about how I always saw them, or, perhaps she was just mentioning me/talking of me.

Alisha married a guy named Kody, and due to her presence in a kind of pattern that I found, and perhaps “code”, I have associated this with Code. Her now last name is a name that is found in a town only outside of the town I was born in. I have found reflections in things. Now in Alisha’s Facebook profile, which is the one way I get to keep up with her, somewhat, being able to observe a few pictures (it isn’t that I couldn’t say hey, or that we hate each other-at all, I just stopped communication with her to let her go), the one number that she wears is 97. Previously, the pattern she was/is involved with in my life I had observed numbers with, that were resonant to me. 97 I later connected to Shailene Woodley, as this is a numerology of her full name, Shailene Dianne Woodley.

Recently I investigated my arrests in life/reflecting on them, and perhaps pattern/order in them, and that same day, I found out that Shailene had been arrested. This sparked renewed interest in her. She was arrested protesting a gas pipeline in North Dakota, the Dakota Access Pipeline. I had also just hurt my back, and I associated her with an “injury” of scoliosis, prior, as she had/has this, and had to wear a brace. The brace/support I also associated with, as I have had to wear a kind of support mechanism, or did, for my jaw, to realign my bite (but this was somewhat in error…), around the time I was more actively involved with Alisha.

I have been noticing some synchronicity, as well, after. For example, the next video she posted, after I made this awareness of her again, was 2:29 long, which is a number, as 229, that I associate with my name, numerologically. In it, she tells people to pray, and says “God or a tree”, and myself, with my God complex of sorts, I’ve been talking about trees…I began before recent awareness of her. “Wood”- also. Just before recent renewed interest in her, I had been writing about the Yew tree, and how Odin is said to have hung from a Yew, and how the first girl that I kissed had a last name that means Yew, and a dream I had that I years after-the-fact saw resonance with the story of Odin falling out of the tree, seeing runes, and one meaning of rune means “affectionate love”, which was the meaning of the last symbol that I saw before waking up, that I wanted to share. I had had no classical education, or understanding prior, consciously, of this myth of Odin, and the tree/language.

Her last name- “Woodley”, and her coming in timing, as well resonates.
Perhaps this deserves all the detail that I have seen. It does, but I’m trying to get to what happened just recently, why I wanted to share here. This has all been context.

97 is the only number that Alisha wears that is clear. This is a number I have associated with Shailene Woodley’s name, as it is numerology of it. Alisha saw a shooting star when she was talking about me. It was the first one she saw. Alisha is the only person I asked to marry me, in life, though it’s complicated. She also had my mom’s maiden name, and now has a name that is only in a town-name found just outside of where I was born (Darrtown, OH– I was born in Oxford, next to it). The one time I made a connection in such a way to a falling star/flashes of light in the night sky like that/sparks like Alisha did to me was when I said I loved Shailene, at the same time. -A “magic moment”.

We celebrated my dad’s birthday yesterday, 10/23. he is 74. As I passed exit 97 on I-65, which is just outside-south of Indianapolis/Greenwood, I saw that the numbers in my car read, on the odometer, as 3611137, and the range was 321. To be quick, 1/137 is a number that is associated with the fine structure constant in physics, and another quick association that I have to that is that the exit for my home-town, Connersville, is 137 on I-70, for Indiana 1 (1/137), but, getting back to it, 321, the car next to me/with me as I passed 97-The Worthsville Rd exit on I-65 had a license plate that read “SMOOTH1″, which went along with “You’ve got the moves”, as I saw it- the lyrics from a song called “New Song”, by Warpaint. Above the exit, on the road I saw a truck that said “Navajo”, which I associated with her associating with Native Americans, as the pipeline cuts through their reservation land, and her activism. Navajo Warrior/code talkers, there may be associations with, as well. After SMOOTH1, which was on a Kia Soul-I noticed, a car somewhat ahead and that I saw after the exit had a plate with numbers/letters of 123SBL. I had just seen 321 before Smooth, then next, 123, around this exit with a number that I associated with her- Worthsville Rd/97. And after, the first car that I approached, and came to-behind was a Tesla, which with resonance with her protesting gas pipelines, was resonant. A song came on called Ceremony, after this, and I had just heard her, in the video that was 2:29 long, mention “Ceremony” multiple times, so I associated it with her.

I didn’t capture the 123SBL plate, and don’t remember the make/model of the car, nor did I picture the Tesla. I think there may have been too much going on to safely/smoothly do it.

This wasn’t the end of it. I don’t mean to imply that synchronicity ever really ends (or that I am always seeing it like this, but, sometimes it is as if everything is “frozen” in time, and I am finding my thoughts/energy “reflected”, or with, when I pay attention). Not that I make any of it, that I am aware of, but I am not sure of my nature/nature, absolutely.

“hand shrug I don’t know emoticon reset to 0 end post end preconceptions end talking silent”

2 Responses to “10/23”

  1. admin says:

    I’ve since quit smoking, but I’ve considered- if addiction has been something to all this? In some respect, it began around addiction, and my relationship with Alisha, she was also addicted through much of it. Are we addicted to power? We need it. Perhaps need isn’t the issue. I mean we need love. We need life/relationships.

  2. admin says:

    Also, this isn’t to say with the attempt at explaining above- with what I did detail, that it “began” there. But for some starting place…

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