i was writing before i left earlier to get almond butter. i said i hated that i didn’t know. yet, i felt driving that point in was kind of liberating. that i didn’t know. in my strong feelings, i reminded myself that i didn’t know, and that felt good somehow.

i was ‘paranoid’. i feel watched. i feel like things are directed sometimes. other times, no matter what has seemed to be, i don’t remember it or see it the same way. i watched a show about a stroke victim earlier today, and i related with her, how she explained how she felt. i think i have mental difficulties. but sometimes from nothing, or having that starting over, is good. i don’t know.

i left after writing. i found myself first behind a car with numbers 396TYY, or TTY. I recognized these as special, but I didn’t attach.

nearing my destination i found myself behind a car- A Toyota Matrix with a plate that read KNO3 C S. I thought about how I had written that I hate that I don’t know, passionately. KNO3 I saw the 3 was a rotated W-form. C S, like “sis”. Gnosis. That was the last car I was behind before I turned into the lot for Whole Foods, where I was going to get almond butter.

I had a left-arrow to turn, and an oncoming car started to turn as well, right. It wasn’t his turn. His headlight was out. I kind of shook my head. Almond symbolism is related to the eyes, with names meaning “watchful”. With the headlight out, I immediately thought of eyes–An eye out, like Odin, who sacrificed his eye to gain knowledge. Or Horus, although I’m not as familiar with that myth. Not to say I’m that familiar with Odin.

Inside the store, I saw a couple beyond some grapes, who looked southern European, perhaps. Their skin was a strange color. Darker, but different than other shades. I can’t explain it. I thought Czech-area (but this isn’t accurate). I could be wrong. They had a child- a baby with them. Almost toddler. I don’t know. He made eye contact with me, and just kept watching me. I smiled to him. Then I saw a guy with his parents, down an aisle, which would be where I would first go to get items. This guy’s hands were up in a “raptor” position, or like dinosaur that walks on two legs would carry them. He was handicapped. Slow. Retarded. I don’t know exactly he was. But that was where I first picked up items, after circling around to get there, as the way was blocked another way.

Before I went in, I got kind of angry with a driver that I thought was driving inconsiderately. I consider that people always have the right of way in parking lots. I watch for them. I try to. I often see other drivers just drive through, not stopping except where they absolutely have to, and often they go faster than I would like to see, or that I would. I saw one that made a woman stop in her tracks, waiting to cross the way between the store and the parking spaces. It angered me and I basically said that the driver didn’t deserve to be alive. Then I followed up and said I don’t deserve anything. I didn’t mean it negatively, absolutely, but I zeroed. I had parked facing a 226 plate. The car that angered me, that drove by, was also 226. I forget the letters. Ahead of me by the 226 was a 722 plate. 227 is a number related to Pi, as 22/7 is an approximation. I recognized it like this, and how close it was to 226, which had doubled in ways here. After, I followed 314 out of the lot, and followed it west for some time, until Naab road, when I was stopped at the red light, and it went on. I made a circle, somewhat, going to Michigan Road, simply driving, preparing to go somewhere else but I didn’t know where. When it came time to turn back the other direction, going East again, then on 79th Street (had been on 86th), a woman on the radio said the name Anna. The name Anna is associated with a code, that I haven’t really figured out yet, but have been shown it by people online, and they seem to use it, as certain proof of God, who they call Anna, or Ana (or variations of this name, but this, mostly). The code makes use of Pi, and 227, or the code has Pi and 227 in it, anagrams (ANA…). Next, this woman said Bella. Bell is also with this code. It was ‘instrumental’ in the finding of the code. When she said Bella, I hit a pot-hole.

I seem to see things that relate to that ‘code’, which is still a mystery to me. I have trouble comprehending it. I’ve tried, but I don’t think I’ve really tried enough. I would do better to learn in person from the person who discovered it–To be shown directly, and to stop him when I don’t understand something. Sometimes I question if it isn’t just so ambiguous that they can make it say generally anything. But I try to keep an open mind, and I have definitely found synchronicity with it, even while not understanding. So I don’t mean to say my question of it outweighs it. I have no idea. I simply have issues getting it. I’m not great at comprehending some things.

But I think they – People who do use this and seem to understand this code – Might miss some point of it. They have fractured. Many no longer communicate like they did, or they aren’t open to each other. There was accusation, and seemingly rejections by some. I wanted to remind them that the name, Anna, means (or may mean) grace. And grace may be forgiveness (or be related/with) . And nothing has really changed. It seems people fell into extremism.

… I have no idea.

I don’t get it.

I don’t know.

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