410

Last night I considered that I hadn’t paid attention to someone who was born on 4/10, who around the time that I did pay attention to her, I noticed 410 around Washington D.C.- that it was bordering the North End, close to a street called Verbena.

I thought of Washington perhaps because I was focused on the town of Bedford, IN, where a lot of the limestone used in Washington D.C. apparently comes from, and that I drive through Bedford five nights a week, and that a new street just showed up after last weekend- 23rd Street south 158/16th Street/50, and last night the street was opened to some amount…

This morning I noticed a vehicle with a license plate RPB410 was parked just outside of my apartment, closest to it. I hadn’t seen this vehicle before, in memory, and it belonged to some people who were helping some others move.

Perhaps I will pay attention to their address. I looked outside and read a name on the back of a shirt- but can’t remember.

Tonight I woke up and went to recycle, and then to get groceries. I ended up getting my mom some organic scented lotion at Fresh Thyme, for her birthday (as it’s healthier than the stuff she uses, and I’m allergic to the stuff she uses, and avoid getting too close to her when she wears it– this I don’t have to be afraid of). My beginning balance today was 611.xx. 611 is my birthday, and the lotion I got for her birthday, which we are celebrating tomorrow. I got her some Clementine Ginger, and Citrus Verbena.

At Whole Foods- another grocery, on the way back toward my place, I stopped to get some other groceries. I parked behind a vehicle that had an alien head on the antenna. It’s plate was 407, but I didn’t catch the three letters. 1 and 7 I’ve seen as similar, in form. I didn’t park in back of the Soul because I saw the alien head, but I took a picture of it when I noticed it.

Inside, Rachael mentioned that she was tired. She took over the checkout for Yvonne, at me. When I walked in, she was walking out with a hood on, to get carts. Time in-her, time-out, her. She mentioned that she stayed up late watching shows were her roommates– or that’s what I caught of what she said. X-Files she said. I told her that I am watching the older ones, because I haven’t seen them all, before I watch the newer ones. She said that they’re doing the same– That she liked the new ones so now they are all watching the old ones, and that they are on the third episode now.

Outside, I noticed now in front of me was DU229, on a vehicle. 229 I associate with my name, as it’s a “sum” where A=1 and Z would = 26, added as such. But there was also a vehicle straight ahead, beyond that row, that I didn’t really pay attention to. I did, but I haven’t really been in a connective mood lately. I’ve been rejecting it. It’s in part because I’ve been masturbating, and I don’t like doing that (it’s in response to lust, and I’d rather just have sex, as this feels just like I’m a loser basically, and I’d rather just not do either, if I am doing this, but once I start it’s like an itch that I can’t quite scratch, and I just need to take a few days off, but I argue that the action has health benefits, as long as done right, but, eh), but I think one of the main reasons is is that I’m eating a ton of sugary food (dates, and white rice). 229 was sort of facing me, as it was parked, too, and was one space over, from ahead, angled.

On the way back home at Meridian I stopped behind 184, which resonates with my mother’s name, the same way that 229 does with mine. With my mom’s, and a girl (potential), who believed in aliens/angels/demons/spirits/fairies.

184 is also in X-Files. It’s Mulder’s flight number in Season 2, Episode 1- “Little Green Men”.

At home, I turned on the computer, and saw this image, looking like Aliens, of where X-Files on Netflix had stopped, when I fell asleep watching it earlier.

I then looked through OkCupid, and also, found some more connections with numbers in Back to the Future, and I thought, considering the connections, that my looking for connections, or seeing them, is a desire for real connection- that I am lacking in life. I used this as a reason to continue to reject or ignore seeming connection. Then I noticed that the girl I was focused on, on OkCupid, for minutes, last signed on at 4:10 is said, on Monday, which I thought was interesting- how I had just tried to fight it, again, and then saw this, that was in my mind, here, as I had the thought. I took a screenshot of her image, but I don’t feel right posting it…

I also had other number resonance around 229, the alien, and 184- or, a number that I associate. But I tend to continually reject connections that my brain makes, especially with regard to girls. Because I want it. And I don’t have it, and there are reasons why I probably will at least for a time continue not to. And sometimes it feels like I’m torturing myself/being tortured, or teased along. I don’t know.

This episode is funny, though (X-Files).

Edit: It ended with words “we’re all alone”, talking about connection…

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