i ate tomato

and tomato isn’t good for me, i found out. i have histamine intolerance. right now everything is annoying (this includes any of my output, but “everything” is a bit overstated).

dates may be a problem, as well. i tend to shut down after i eat them. i thought it was the sugar, but rice doesn’t do the same thing. i tend to become angry/annoyed after i eat dates.

it would seem i need to go back to eating only meat.

or i need to fast again, but that isn’t a long-term solution.
but life isn’t long-term, and i don’t know why i keep fighting.
because i get enjoyment. sometimes. because i think there might be some good ending (a positive outlet). i don’t mean “end” of course.

my issues are mostly mental. when i don’t eat, i become very clear, relatively, mentally.

i often wish that i could replace my body with one that doesn’t need to eat, like this one. no doubt. i would totally give up “food” in that way, if i could.

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