Archive for February, 2016

I don’t exactly remember what I was dreaming

Sunday, February 21st, 2016

I remember 2:30 was something. I thought it was in a dream, as I woke up. I started to think it was nothing. From a dream I woke up at 2:30, as I looked at my phone. Something else happened in the dream, at that time. And when I woke up, a sound. Seeing 2:30 was of interest, but I went straight back to sleep.

I remember in one dream a man falling down a hill. Tumbling down. He seemed to work at this place. We were at a grocery, and things were more sparse- the selection. I was in a aisle with water. There was a particular brand with a silver cap that I noticed before, with a cylindrical glass bottle, and white-silver somewhat see-through in places writing on the bottle, but another of this kind caught my eye, with a bronze/copper/gold coloring to it. The water was separated. It said it was “mechanically separated”. It was as if there were two layers, like what oils form with water, but this was all water. In the separation layer there was a mineral dust, of what looked like copper/gold, or something. Perhaps the silver had it’s own, like this, but I was drawn to try this.

The man falling down the hill had hair a little like Napoleon Dynamite. Not to say he fully resembled him, but there was some resemblance. I kind of worried about him- not that there was anything I could really do, and not that I was really that worried. I thought he was a gonner, and he was so far away that there was nothing that I could do. But he got up, and was fine.

A girl drew me a picture, in this time. I think. I don’t really remember. I just remember there was maybe a little girl, with her father, and they were waiting on another girl, perhaps her mother, or older sister. The store was about to close.

In another part of a dream- maybe before this, but connected, I went to a Tool concert. Then I left the concert before it started, as I forgot something. Somehow the concert and the grocery seemed connected. The atmosphere. There was some racially charged stuff, but it got healed somehow. Although there were still some that had issues. My brother got kind of mad with me, and accused me of spending all of my money on marijuana, when I haven’t smoked marijuana in awhile, and even when I do, it amounts to, per week, about a days worth of food/beverage for me, and I actually end up spending less money when I smoke because otherwise I eat like a pig, just to think. Not to say that justifies it’s use. I don’t know. But I told him this. I remember riding a bike, or he was. Perhaps it was a weird bike (I don’t know).

This time, I woke up, and decided to stay awake. I stepped my feet upon my feet, as I laid there- they were propped up at the end of my love-seat. I considered it was how I walked, maybe. That I step on myself. I prop myself up. I had a thought of a “tesseract”- the hypercube. And about a time when I denied stimulation to some degree, choosing to not ‘eat’, with my eyes, or ears, and heard a male voice say that I am the trenchcoat, or that I need a trenchcoat, and then I stopped at Whole Foods and followed a man in who was wearing a trenchcoat.

I checked my phone, saw that it said 2:30, and wondered if that’s why I dreamed 2:30, but then it quickly changed to 3:53, and then immediately to 3:54. Now it was 4:13, and now it’s 4:14.

410

Sunday, February 21st, 2016

Last night I considered that I hadn’t paid attention to someone who was born on 4/10, who around the time that I did pay attention to her, I noticed 410 around Washington D.C.- that it was bordering the North End, close to a street called Verbena.

I thought of Washington perhaps because I was focused on the town of Bedford, IN, where a lot of the limestone used in Washington D.C. apparently comes from, and that I drive through Bedford five nights a week, and that a new street just showed up after last weekend- 23rd Street south 158/16th Street/50, and last night the street was opened to some amount…

This morning I noticed a vehicle with a license plate RPB410 was parked just outside of my apartment, closest to it. I hadn’t seen this vehicle before, in memory, and it belonged to some people who were helping some others move.

Perhaps I will pay attention to their address. I looked outside and read a name on the back of a shirt- but can’t remember.

Tonight I woke up and went to recycle, and then to get groceries. I ended up getting my mom some organic scented lotion at Fresh Thyme, for her birthday (as it’s healthier than the stuff she uses, and I’m allergic to the stuff she uses, and avoid getting too close to her when she wears it– this I don’t have to be afraid of). My beginning balance today was 611.xx. 611 is my birthday, and the lotion I got for her birthday, which we are celebrating tomorrow. I got her some Clementine Ginger, and Citrus Verbena.

At Whole Foods- another grocery, on the way back toward my place, I stopped to get some other groceries. I parked behind a vehicle that had an alien head on the antenna. It’s plate was 407, but I didn’t catch the three letters. 1 and 7 I’ve seen as similar, in form. I didn’t park in back of the Soul because I saw the alien head, but I took a picture of it when I noticed it.

Inside, Rachael mentioned that she was tired. She took over the checkout for Yvonne, at me. When I walked in, she was walking out with a hood on, to get carts. Time in-her, time-out, her. She mentioned that she stayed up late watching shows were her roommates– or that’s what I caught of what she said. X-Files she said. I told her that I am watching the older ones, because I haven’t seen them all, before I watch the newer ones. She said that they’re doing the same– That she liked the new ones so now they are all watching the old ones, and that they are on the third episode now.

Outside, I noticed now in front of me was DU229, on a vehicle. 229 I associate with my name, as it’s a “sum” where A=1 and Z would = 26, added as such. But there was also a vehicle straight ahead, beyond that row, that I didn’t really pay attention to. I did, but I haven’t really been in a connective mood lately. I’ve been rejecting it. It’s in part because I’ve been masturbating, and I don’t like doing that (it’s in response to lust, and I’d rather just have sex, as this feels just like I’m a loser basically, and I’d rather just not do either, if I am doing this, but once I start it’s like an itch that I can’t quite scratch, and I just need to take a few days off, but I argue that the action has health benefits, as long as done right, but, eh), but I think one of the main reasons is is that I’m eating a ton of sugary food (dates, and white rice). 229 was sort of facing me, as it was parked, too, and was one space over, from ahead, angled.

On the way back home at Meridian I stopped behind 184, which resonates with my mother’s name, the same way that 229 does with mine. With my mom’s, and a girl (potential), who believed in aliens/angels/demons/spirits/fairies.

184 is also in X-Files. It’s Mulder’s flight number in Season 2, Episode 1- “Little Green Men”.

At home, I turned on the computer, and saw this image, looking like Aliens, of where X-Files on Netflix had stopped, when I fell asleep watching it earlier.

I then looked through OkCupid, and also, found some more connections with numbers in Back to the Future, and I thought, considering the connections, that my looking for connections, or seeing them, is a desire for real connection- that I am lacking in life. I used this as a reason to continue to reject or ignore seeming connection. Then I noticed that the girl I was focused on, on OkCupid, for minutes, last signed on at 4:10 is said, on Monday, which I thought was interesting- how I had just tried to fight it, again, and then saw this, that was in my mind, here, as I had the thought. I took a screenshot of her image, but I don’t feel right posting it…

I also had other number resonance around 229, the alien, and 184- or, a number that I associate. But I tend to continually reject connections that my brain makes, especially with regard to girls. Because I want it. And I don’t have it, and there are reasons why I probably will at least for a time continue not to. And sometimes it feels like I’m torturing myself/being tortured, or teased along. I don’t know.

This episode is funny, though (X-Files).

Edit: It ended with words “we’re all alone”, talking about connection…

208

Friday, February 19th, 2016

I considered the name, Chastain, due to some attention to Jessica Chastain- the actress. She played in both The Martian, and Interstellar, recently.

I looked up where an ex of mine works- Someone who I was with when I first started to have certain awareness…

She works at Wing Factory, in Atlanta- and has for a few years. I noticed again that this place is on a road called Roswell. Back in 2007, I had an idea that I am the alien, and this was associated with Alisha, somehow. Wing Factory is located in Chastain Square, next to Atlanta Ballet. Alisha also took Ballet.

Coming from this name, finding it where Alisha worked, movies about space… Roswell, already having association with “alien”…

I don’t know how to say it.

I feel like I’m screaming.

I added the sum of Jessica Chastain’s full name, by English Ordinal Gematria, and by a method that I came to somewhat independently, I think- I forget now though if I converged with something or came to it myself, then saw reflection. One sum of her name (letters, by placement) is 208. By this other method I found a sum of 134.

I saw that she is a vegan.

I forgot to put chicken in the fridge at work, and realized it when I was in Bloomington. I thought “what a waste” and then I saw a dead rabbit in the middle of the road, as I considered that things die all the time and are “wasted”.

I went to Kroger, and thought to get ice, as the chicken was still cool to the touch. In the row I turned into, not many cars were there. One was there at the head, though, which was 208SYE. I checked the chicken again. It weighed 1.34 lbs.

She is dating a “Count”.

One night last week- or two weeks ago (time..), I connected that her birthday is 3/24. 324 is a number that I had associated with one other, before her, but really it should be associated with four others, along with that person. On the radio that night, I thought it was, they announced a ‘Murphy Cooper’ would be on, and this was just as I was considering something about Interstellar… I was picturing a picture of someone who supposedly contacted me via email within a minute or so after I asked for someone to knock on my door, instead of just watching me, and I heard a knock on the wall, then an email- from Arria Bland. I saw that Arria had three daughters. At first I hoped that she was one of them- as they were cute. One was too young, though. She has red hair. But the first daughter that I explored to see has a picture taken by ‘Jenny Thomas’. That’s the first time I had seen my sister’s name outside of my sister. Arria’s message to me was simply, “Hi- can we talk?” I thought there was something to it. I responded. The area that they lived in, and other things, were in resonance… I didn’t receive a quick response.

Both daughters are dancers- or all three. But both of the older ones. I associated the younger, red haired one with a young “Murphy Cooper”. It was like some reflection.

The next night I considered that in Interstellar, Cooper goes for “Bland”. I mistook Brand for Bland. Bee-Land. Where he lands at the end. Then I saw that she was Brand. But I looked at the letter r, and the letter l, and saw them as mirror images, somewhat. How he traveled through the black hole, or however Cooper did that. Brand, Bland. Maybe one of these girls is my “Brand”? This is where I Bee-Land? One went to school in a Bellville, and there is an Apiary near by. That night, or near this, I came home and saw an ad on YouTube for Hulu, that played the Interstellar preview, and that was the first I had seen that preview on YouTube.

But back to the closer to the present… I was thinking about the family photo of Arria’s, and about how I had considered “Murphy Cooper” when I saw it, seeing the red-haired little girl. I doubted it. Then on the radio it said “Murphy Cooper”, as the name of a DJ or musician that was coming up.

That night, I think it was, perhaps (I’m not sure)- it was the night I looked up Jessica Chastain’s birthday, later I entered 465 coming back from doing my route and the time would have probably been 3:24, as it was 3:25 when I checked it a moment later.

I don’t know.

I’m not saying I’m supposed to marry her or anything. I know better by now. Or I should.

Arria’s account was actually hacked, I think. The hacker who had control of it, then sent me a message claiming to be someone else, and another “scam” account contacted me on the same day. Both seemed to contain hidden messages… But the thing is, some of these … well, it seems impossible that humans are consciously controlling it.

in a dream

Thursday, February 18th, 2016

snow – men
walking through woods my friends and i were, and we spotted very tall men. imagination went off this. they were wearing snow ghilli suits, seemingly. or just suits that were with a lot of insulation and white. we thought that they were some subspecies of man or something. giants.

we met them, though, and helped them up from a creekbed. then a steel-eating zombie guy approached us. the snow men and my friends were up on some stairs, that looked like a home built into, partially, the side of the earth. it was very beautiful. natural, elegant. the steel eating zombie- i didn’t know he was steel yet, until i was on the ground kicking him, and someone said that he had been in the house somewhere eating steel. the being looked malnourished like a zombie, but skin was dark red, almost blue in places. purple. charcoal clothing- maybe dust from the metal it had been eating. it was like the house was built into a mine. i eventually knocked the zombie over, and it’s neck snapped, severing the spinal cord. we could see pupils dilate.

the men that we thought were some extant subspecies i knew were just large men, when i saw a sparkling ear ring in one, and the way he looked at me. they were just as scared of this zombie guy as i was, except that they were away from it. i don’t even know if it was really going to attack me. i just reacted in fear. perhaps he was sick and wanted help, like the guys weren’t giants.

that house, though… wow. beautiful. stone. clean glass, but beautiful rounded masonry, like it was built from stones found in the river-bed near. different sizes, but decently uniform. with perhaps some other kinds of stone. looked like the kind of structure that didn’t need air conditioning, or heating beyond intelligently located fires..

i remember dreaming other things.

a competition.

-outside of a strip club.

ha.
steel mine.

i knew that was off. brain waking up a little. it would have been an iron mine, or something.

Range or angel

Thursday, February 18th, 2016

range
orange
angel

As I got back into town tonight, before, and as I got onto the interstate, the range on my car was 164. The last time I saw it at 164 I was sitting at the Al-Haqq Foundation, and was about to see if someone was there, to ask them to translate something for me. This was my first night with my car after it had gotten a new alternator. 1640 is Doc Brown’s address in Back to the Future, but I had seen the number other places.

As I have related the forms of r and l, when I got onto the interstate, a truck with this name, with an RL- something. I forget it- I typed it, but didn’t save, and lost it. As I looked at the range earlier, I thought how I had errored in writing range, or something- or how an autocorrect had written orangeorangel. I left it as such, because I thought it was curious, how I see my range numbers- the estimate on the tank align in ways sometimes. Of course other numbers. Just numbers. Things around. But this “RL”-associated truck had a plate number of 223. I recalled that when I first got on the interstate earlier tonight, or last night- When I began work, I was also first behind a 223.

There were other numbers last night. I didn’t write them. Sometimes I don’t feel like writing them. But maybe I should.

At the next interchange after I entered 465, a RayL-truck entered here, next to me, in time. R and L again. rl.

Earlier yesterday I called my dad to see if he and my mom had made it into town yet- They were going to help my brother and his wife for the day, as she had a chemo treatment. They come up and clean/cook, take some weight off I guess. He said they were just pulling into their driveway when I called. I had borrowed his car while mine got an alternator put in, which took more days than expected, as the shop got the wrong alternator multiple times, then a part was broke, so they had to wait on that. When I left, my complex, I saw a car drive by with a 475MEK license plate id, as I pulled out onto the road. 475 are the numbers (single numerals) that when spoken are spoken with a connection of teeth to lip (F, V), and have been interesting, when I’ve studied. The cost of the alternator+installation ended up being 457.14. They had quoted me 504, but changed.

Both times my car has been disabled recently, I was pointed to Islam. There at the shop there was a Quran, and I opened it and looked through it. When I went to Al-Haqq to get a picture looked at that I took, to see where in the Quran I had opened first, and nobody was there, and the parking lot was mostly barren, there was a disabled man in a power-chair in the middle-front of the lot, with a mouth-controller device on it.

I don’t know where I’m going with this…

I saw numbers. I saw 777. I saw 777 again. I saw Love. I saw a number that I associate with my birthday- 161. Then I saw a number that I associate with my name- 229. It was next to a truck that said Turner, and ahead of it, I saw a truck that said Total Patcher, and had Vortex written on it. I was on my way to recycle, then wash my car, then vacuum it- things I haven’t done in awhile. I noticed 159 must have been my range on my car around this time, as it was 158 a mile or so later. So 159- a number that I associate with the name of one who is special, was with 229, around Vortex. At the wash, I decided not to go in, and began cursing, because of the amount of people there. I got pretty disgusted with society, and what they hold as important (wasting water on keeping a car sparkly- probably a weekly thing for most people at least), and that they were just packed. I never wash my car. I let the rain do it. I don’t see the point, as I drive daily 300 miles, and don’t consider my car something to flash around, I guess. I never have considered “dirt” to be dirty. I understand getting salt off, though. But anyways. I saw 530 there- that was the only one I glanced. 5/30 is associated to 159, as the one who I associate with that number has that birthdate.

Getting the alternator, my odometer read 311184, and when I checked, not a mile of driving later, the range was 184. 184 is a number I associate with this one that I also associate with 159- but not as strongly as I used to. I first came to the number through her, by adding letters, A=1 Z=26, of her name, if she had my last name. This was when I met her, and a voice said “that’s your wife”. Then I found out that my mom’s name has this sum. I recognized it, just not strongly, as I had done it before. But it was first through her- 159 (Donna Price), that I saw that the number is a multiple of 23- a number that has been significant to me/special. Now I tend to associate it more to my mother, as her name actually relates to it- not just hypothetical. But I still think of her, and she was, Donna was where I first paid attention to it…

After I got the alternator, I followed my dad over to Kroger, across a parking lot, just to kind of test drive the car and see if everything was functioning. He was going to get toilet bowl cleaner. I didn’t really have a reason to go over there, other than to hang out. I noticed that he parked next to, or with an empty space between, a car with a bumper sticker that read “Tesla Rules!”. Electromagnets. Inside I decided to just go ahead and go, as I hadn’t been to sleep yet, and wanted to vacuum out my car, as it smelled stale, and dusty (it’s been a long time), and run it through the wash. I left, but then ended up going back, to go say hi and bye to my mom.

Al-Haqq, 229, Turner/Vortex… Other numbers, and alignments of them. Orders. Meanings associated.

Really the only thing that matters is love.

But I admit I often want to destroy the world… In part because I don’t see love in a lot of it. Not the world. People. Lots of people. I’m a hypocrite, too. I tend to understand.

Back to the Future error in remembering

Sunday, February 14th, 2016

I haven’t seen Back to the Future in awhile. I remembered some things wrong. I also used to have attention issues, worse than I do now. Perhaps I’ve just been forced to pay attention, due to so many errors. I still can’t claim that I pay attention. Sometimes I think paying attention is being obsessive.

Anyways, I have written that Marty falls for his mother, in Back to the Future. I thought he fell out of a tree. Just before the scene where his father falls from the tree, and he knocks him out of the way- saving him from being hit, then being hit himself, I remembered, that he doesn’t “fall”. She does for him.

dream 2/12

Friday, February 12th, 2016

In a dream, a girl approached me, and needed help. She was wearing little clothing. I thought she was kind of a scammer. But accepted flirtation anyways, as I’m a little desperate (male, with boner). I helped her. This was as I was about to go to work. I had loaded up, and had begun to go. I went back and there was more that I missed, too. There was washing of chicken. I tried to go in some place, and they didn’t allow me to go in, to wash my hands. I was directed elsewhere. There was a group of people. They were all a little bit ‘freakish’. Like artists, and rock-stars, drug users, I don’t know. But they were at this old rich fellows home. He didn’t seem to care what went on there. Everyone was dressed nice, or in costumes. I remember Lindsay- a friend was there, working. Girls were in sexy outfits- yet futuristic some of them, like Fifth Element style, or Back to the Future II, some kind of cross. Yet not. Perhaps just weird. I don’t have any idea as to style. Lindsay was wearing orange, I remember, and the girl that initially coerced me, colors of blue. The girl’s hair was blond. Sandy blond. And I saw that I seemed to resemble her at some point.

I took a shower. One twin directed me there. The shower was very long. Like a personal bowling alley long. there was like a wave pool, perhaps. It was dark toward the end. I showered at the front, and kind of lost track of time. Animals started running into the water. An otter, or seal. It was interesting. I wondered how the man was allowed to keep these animals, but he was rich, so I assumed that he just did. When I got out of the shower- it was with the direction of one of the twins- the one that showed it to me. He had a brother, named Jeff- like me, or maybe it was Thomas, which means twin, and could make sense. I think Jeff.

When I got out it was light out. I was really distraught over this. I was supposed to be at work hours ago. I was supposed to be done and home. People were waiting for meds. I saw it was 10:00, or no, 1:00-ish in the day time. I was going to attempt to call the facilities, and do the route. I think I woke myself up, and realized that I hadn’t been that far in my day yet. I immediately went back to sleep, and kind of fell asleep into the same dream. I was with this group, walking, by the golf course. But I remember this guy, with the last name Otter, in some kind of synchronicity with the otter, posting- a notification showing me he posted in synchronicity, right after the otter. Or his name was so close to Otter. Rob Otter. Hmm. Roboter. I want to say his name was Robert, and something Otter. Oter. I don’t know…

I didn’t want to walk onto the golf course, because we were bare-footed, and they spray pesticides and herbicides constantly on the golf course. I stayed on the pavement, while many of them- a group of people, who were willing to accept me among them, walked on the golf course.

We went to an old friend’s house- Richard’s old house. We were going to eat. I told someone they wouldn’t have anything that I could eat. I went in and there were rice crackers, but they had fish ingredients, and I didn’t feel like feeling comatose, due to the amines that build up in fish products that aren’t completely fresh.

There was an old projector system, I remember watching. It was built into a stereo system. I think Interstellar was playing, and some other movie, on the projector. The projector had snippets of news, and photographs, and things from the past. The whole machine took up a wall. My brother was there.

I kept holding onto the name, though, because it meant something. Otter. Rob Otter. I think. Rob? Robert Otter. Rob Otter. I can’t remember for sure.

i ate tomato

Friday, February 12th, 2016

and tomato isn’t good for me, i found out. i have histamine intolerance. right now everything is annoying (this includes any of my output, but “everything” is a bit overstated).

dates may be a problem, as well. i tend to shut down after i eat them. i thought it was the sugar, but rice doesn’t do the same thing. i tend to become angry/annoyed after i eat dates.

it would seem i need to go back to eating only meat.

or i need to fast again, but that isn’t a long-term solution.
but life isn’t long-term, and i don’t know why i keep fighting.
because i get enjoyment. sometimes. because i think there might be some good ending (a positive outlet). i don’t mean “end” of course.

my issues are mostly mental. when i don’t eat, i become very clear, relatively, mentally.

i often wish that i could replace my body with one that doesn’t need to eat, like this one. no doubt. i would totally give up “food” in that way, if i could.

On black holes

Friday, February 12th, 2016

i fantasized about girls.
i couldn’t decide which one was “right”.
i had a vision of light filling space, like a singularity – umm, a big bang. Light.
when i was about to write about this, in a post, on Facebook, a person in a group I’m in called cosmology, posted a picture of Interstellar, where his daughter asks him to “stay”. this resonated with feelings of not knowing which girl to stay with. i won’t say what i was doing, but it should be inferred. strange association, but it resonates, in that i’ve seen exes/potential mates as mothers, sisters, daughters.

moving on.

the “sound” of the collision of black holes- the gravitational wave, is said to be like a “chirp”. last night i saw this picture on a girl’s Facebook, who I had thought of, because of a dream that I had, where I was in a circle and one of the houses- i thought was her parents home. it had the number 1589, top-down, with light shining on it. the house was orange-red brick. the circle was tight. earlier in the dream I rescued a cat that fell from trying to walk on a wire/power-lines, or telephone line. i’m not sure what. i thought it was power-lines. it hurt it’s hip. at first it seemed like it would be a lost cause to help it, but i took the burden on myself, and was willing to spend what it seemed would be needed, which was in the 300s- probably low realistically. i think that there was a charity that helped to reduce out of pocket cost. the cat was orange, with white, and i remember it was rather large for a domestic cat.

it seemed happy, too.

the day before i had the dream, i posted an image on Facebook of a circle of rocks that she had posted, with her feet- but the image i had posted only had the circle- i took a screenshot. i forgot it of hers, and struggled to remember when and where i had done it. I took it down a moment or so after.

when i woke up from the dream, as i had seen the numbers 1589 in the circle, associated with her, i looked out the window as i heard, and then saw a truck going around the “circle” outside. i read it’s numbers as an Ohio plate, 9091, and letters that I couldn’t make out. 991 is my plate number. 991BCR.

i viewed her later- her facebook. This is Paula. Webster. we had an interesting few days together, back in 2004. it was my first time intentionally, umm, ejaculating inside of someone. well that’s not entirely correct. the first one was from West Virginia, and I can’t remember her name, but that was also the first time I had sex, and it wasn’t with the intent- i still wonder (what her name was, and other things, perhaps if I have a child- although that’s unlikely).

on 2/5- a date that i found significant, have found significant, she changed her images to

coming from dreaming of “her”, and circles, and the orange cat, on the powerlines, seeing this image, and then today reading about the gravitational waves having a “chirp” sound, this resonates.

when i wrote about the dream last night, or this morning, i was at a nursing home- outside of it, and when i went in, a CNA- named Dreama, I saw was complaining of food poisoning sensations. after i left the facility, before i left town, i went to get her some activated charcoal. as i drove there, to Kroger, and about to turn in, Wallflowers- Hero, began to play. I had told Dreama that “I’m not a doctor or anything” fast, as I felt that I was acting like I knew what was wrong with her, and I might not, but she said that she got sick after she ate at a sports bar in New Palestine, before she came, so I figured that that was the most likely explanation, as did she. Inside at the checkout I heard a guy say “I know a doctor”, as I passed by him, and outside in my car, Foo Fighters was playing – the song Hero. It came to an end, and Green Day, “Burn Out” began to play. As I pulled up to deliver, Sublime – All Mixed Up, played.

but there was that.

I was sick the last time I was with Paula- before she left for Florida. I had driven my freshly painted (Hunter/Forest Green from Red- I was trying to dissociate myself from that color of red, as it reminded me of an ex- Alisha, every time I saw it, anywhere, mainly on cars) car to see her, before she left. I didn’t connect the fumes to the later illness, but I now know that I’m sensitive to stuff like that. We watched Dreamers. I remember how the protagonist showed them how things are the same shape, such as a lighter, and a part of the nose. I remember waking up, and she was taking care of me, because I was sick. My skin was balmy. She was on the phone with a mutual friend. It wasn’t as if I was needing taken care of, but I remember she definitely wasn’t unsympathetic, although I felt embarrassed for being sick, and gross.

She was going to throw some things away. They were in a red crate. I told her I would just send them to her. I insisted, so that I could send other things. I took like a month or two to do it, as I procrastinate. I sent her a book on Synchronicity, and a print of the Visions series by Alex Grey, that my mom gave to me for Christmas in 2003. That makes me think. I think that I’ve said it was 2004, before, that she gave me the prints. It was 2003. They were marked as 26/100, and at the time, 26 meant nothing to me. I wanted 23. Ha-ha. Not that I was that closed, and fought that childish “darn-it”. 26 came to be associated with more to me. I grew… Like her name is Webster, I’ve found a “web” of associations. Some definitely involve this alphabet. Web of language. The print was ‘Vision Tree’.

Back to work, I had mentioned in a post that I “eat” what is “sweetest”. I didn’t mean necessarily I’m a sugar-fiend (although I tend to be, once I start). But I knew what that meant. I try to do right, but sometimes, I use things. Reflecting this, John- a coworker called me right around when I was in Orleans, IN. He told me that a guy who is a pharmacist at the pharmacy that we deliver for died of carbon monoxide poisoning, from a furnace. I connected/resonated with this, with that I had just specifically sent a message to one of my co-workers to tell his employees to not leave their vehicle running when up on the ramp at the dock- it spews exhaust into the warehouse and pharmacy. It was there with a thickness, and I had to leave the bay door and another door open, or I did, to let it air out. That morning, the morning of the dream, and before I found out about the guy dying of carbon monoxide poisoning, I went to a collision center where my car was worked on, to find out why my car was smelling like gas on the inside when the defroster was running. It was a tube that didn’t get reconnected- an emissions line that re-fed a fuel-air mix back into the engine, or something. On the way there, I followed an orange and white bus with an orange wolf on the back, and at that point where I split with it, a song with lyrics “I’m-a feed the bad wolf so the bad wolf don’t bite no more” (Hollow Moon). Then I saw a number, 219, in timing, and 219 I associate with Numbers 21:9, when Moses constructs the bronze serpent that stops the other serpents (God’s) from biting, and killing the people.

More may go with that. I dreamed later the dream I associated with Paula.

Paoli has just started to use an air-”freshener”, in the unit, called S.T.A.R.S. It’s toxic, and makes me have a reaction- my face burns. I can handle fuel smell easier- much easier. It doesn’t even bother me. Then again nobody is making fuel into an aerosol and spraying it every 12 seconds in an automatic dispenser just because someones urine smells– To me it makes absolutely no sense. It really doesn’t make sense. Using toxins around patients who already have labored systems. Anyone, let alone patients. People are so ignorant.

I was anxious about this as I was talking to John. I was getting gas when talking to John.

When I got back into town, the last plate on a road that I read was GLG5892, also an OHIO plate. O-HI-O. Hmm. I dreamed of 1589, connected with her, after posting an image she made of circles, and in my dream, a cat on powerlines that fell, and then saw her images of power-lines, and birds, black-holes “chirp”.

The 5, 8, and 9, again, I have connected with certainly.

I took a nap today, after writing my last post. A person who frequently posts things, in sync, posted this image, as I napped. When I woke up, I heard “messing with you”, and clicked the notification, and then looked at it, still lying in bed. The caption reads, with the post: “Real or Fake?”

I have had other interesting alignments with the film, Interstellar, such as in the last post here, with my mention of the timing in the film when Cooper says “we send ourselves”, being a number that I associate with my name (229, 2:29:00 he has said this/just realized this), and a day when I associated a number with a tesseract, and found myself seemingly in this “hypercube”- or something like it, seeing a car that looked like my brothers, him calling me then, and sending me a text asking me about the tires on my car- if I liked them. He said, once I got home, associating the “tesseract” with the number I had come to, 743, my brother sent me a text saying that “I heard Cooper tires are good”. Cooper resonates with an enclosure.

Another time, a person contacted me through email, Aria Bland. I associated the name with Brand- like in Interstellar. Aria has some daughters, and there were connections to where they were- I need to go back and check. But it was resonant. Her daughters- the older ones are dancers. I had just asked someone to just knock on my door, because I felt watched. I heard a knock on the wall, slightly, and then got an email. It was later that night/that next evening when I began associating. Brand, Bland. I saw r and l as mirrors, like falling through the black hole. Love. Land. B-Land. Sweetness. He ran, he landed.
Her other daughter was young, and with red hair, like Murphy- Cooper’s daughter. I had also been investigating RoboCop (Alex J. Murphy), as his femur is where his gun is stored, and he targets the pen in his diagnostic/testing chair, in the beginning. Femur, Murphy.

At some point, perhaps arriving home, had seen a Youtube video. There was a Hulu preview, for the film, that was Interstellar, which I don’t think I had seen as a preview, but it was fitting.

1:46

Thursday, February 11th, 2016

It was 1:46:00 according to the computer when I took it out of sleep. It’s next to my couch, where I slept, because I was washing my bed-cover and comforter.

1:46 can be 106 units of time.
the 106th day of the year is April 16th. 106 was a number on a car at Keystone, coming off of it, last night, on the way to work. I keep watching an episode and not finishing it, of the X-Files, where a guy is electrocuted, and his prisoner number is 50416. I keep falling asleep.

Before I fell asleep I read about Thorium. Thorium-229 is an isotope that is of interest in physics for certain applications, such as creating a longer-lasting atomic clock than can be made, or qubits for quantum computing, or a nuclear laser. I don’t understand these things, but I am attracted to 229 because it’s a gematria “sum” of my name, and have found things with, or around the number.

Thorium got it’s name from Thor.
So did Thursday.

Today, physicists announced they had discovered gravitational waves. The gravitational waves were from collisions of black holes.

In the film, Interstellar, at 2:29:00, Cooper realizes something a little weird. Perhaps it’s “wyrd”. “We sent ourselves”, he had said. He was “inside” of a black hole.

2:29 is 149.

2:26 is 146

226 is 3:46

It was actually 13:46 at 1:46:00.

I dreamed of Donna. Her mom was Jewish, in my dream. We stopped and had lunch with a woman, who knew her mother, and was also Jewish. Her last name was Silverman. I don’t remember eating.
I had just met Donna in the dream, again. I felt like I wanted to tell her that I was really, really into her, but I wasn’t even sure I was, in the dream. Or if it was like that. Or if I needed that. I didn’t want to push anything.
The woman had a dog, and it was nice.
Another Donna was going to give me a ride- a Donna who I met right after Donna, who was the only other Donna that I knew of outside of family, other than the first Donna (outside of family). I had hit another deer. There was a school near by. Lots of trees. This other Donna had my mother’s middle name, Faye- which is a first for me, meeting someone with this middle name, and my sister’s birthday, August 9th- also a first outside of my family to notice someone with this birth-date. The other Donna was black. Donna is white, with strawberry blond, or red hair. It was a lighter red, from what I remember. Donna who was Black had the last name Harrell, and had hair growing kind of wildly from her chin. She last contacted me a night when I was associating angels with red Donna, who I had also associated with my mother, through numbers, and some other things, and came to associate, somewhat, with a sister, through finding numbers.

We both had what looked like Cheez-it crackers on our socks, from around the person’s house, who knew her mother. Donna said her mother always has plans when she tries to see her.

13:46 is 60×13+46 =826…

106, 4.16, 4/16 I came to by this pattern:

as I arrived at the pattern by the lit portions of 7 possible segments in LCD numbers, finding that the shape then of the 4 could fit in between 2 and 3, and 2 and 3 are next to each other, and 4 next to them, and then the next possible two numbers that are next to each other are 6 and 7, and the only number that fits there, that’s left, is 1. The lit portions if these were made with the 7-segmented numbers would have to be 25. 25/6 numbers is 4.16666666, which when I did it, I associated with April 16th, remembering something vague about the date (and forget everything about it, only some), and then, very shortly after this an order that had been initially processed at a time of 02:09:25 came to me beginning at 02:27:00, and it was for a patient born on this day, of April 16th, named Geneva Cheatham. The time I figured the ~4.16 I was by a community called Syria, and I got the order then on my way back through, after dropping off my orders in Paoli, with Syria again near-by. 37- The road I was on, is 229.4 miles long. On 229 in Virginia, there is another Syria near by, I noticed. I don’t know where other communities named Syria in the U.S. are… The only things I find are information about Syrians living here.

I had first an order for 5 medications for Geneva, then 2 meds coming through in another order. The second order, I arrived there to deliver at 6:11 on a clock- the car clock in my dad’s car. 6/11 is my birthday, and is the 162nd day of the regular year. Another vehicle was there, delivering, and it had a plate number 245- those were the numbers. The 245th day of the year is September 2nd. September 2nd was a date when a string of relationships ended, for me. The names of these girls have initials of M.A.S.K., and the numbers of the names have been interesting. There is an entry for ‘mask’ that describes this more.

I drew lines from the center of the 6. There are 22 lines. 6 in Hebrew- the letter has meaning with “connection”, along with other associations. The 6th letter is F, and the Hebrew letter Vav has relationship with this letter, perhaps being a precursor. I’m not sure off hand the wording to relate them with. I may come back and edit, or leave this raw.

Hebrew has 22 letters. The lines here seem to form a shape of a person, or “angel” if one uses some imagination. Numbers 1+2+3+4+6+7 have a sum of 23, and the lines 22, which when summed is 45- the number of all numerals added. 5, 8, and 9 are missing.

V is the 22nd letter, F is the 6th letter. I met Donna 226 days after my 26th birthday. Our names, if the alphabetical placement of the letters within them are written in English, and then the F and V are found, and summed- according to F having a sum of 6, and V, 22 (or 4, if reduced), have the same sums of 64 and 136. I found this around a date of a full moon- the anniversary of our meeting by 7 years, when a girl, named Delia, from her father’s home-town, of Winchester, viewed me on a dating website. Delia is a name connected with Artemis, who was Apollo’s twin sister, and a moon goddess. Donna, I had associated with the moon, as she was born on the day of a solar eclipse. Ring eclipse.

According to this same method, with F and V, my exes full-names can have a sum of 598-together. 5, 8, and 9 are the numbers that aren’t found in the pattern of numbers that I made, and I was curious about them.

By more traditional methods of summation, I found sums of their full names to be 358, and 808. Both of these numbers have connections, by Hebrew Gematria, with “Serpent”, relating to the Brazen Serpent that Moses put on the pole/branch, or the Messiah. Their also can have sums by these more traditional methods (A summed as 1, and Z as 26, or/and, 8) that relate with my mother, as 227, and 92. 2/27 is my mother’s birthday, and was around the date (actually 2/26 of last year- 2015) that I put all six numbers together. 22/7 is an approximation of Pi. 09/02 was the day the four (MASK) ended. That was 2300 days from December 21st, 2012. On that date, I was paid 1221.52 for the work week, which was the highest sum, and is the highest sum I’ve been paid for one week, one check. On 12/21 at midnight, and 12/22 at midnight- both, I was passing through Shoals, which means Schools, in Indiana. The school in Shoals is on Ironton rd, and runs south to Ironton. There is a Jug Rock in Shoals, which is the largest table-rock formation to the east of the Mississippi. Shoals refers to fish- a school of Fish. Rock Red contacted me on OkCupid around the time I was in Shoals. 07/22 is the 203rd day of the year. 02/09 is “Extraterrestrial Culture Day”, and 209 is a number that I have associated with one, who came certainly before Marilyn, around the time of Alisha, who I forgot about, but this is a sum of her name with my last name. Her current last name is Grey. With Grey, according to the method where F and V from written alphabetical placement-numbers are summed, she has a name that has equal sums as my mother’s name. With my last name, our sums added together can total 108, and 216. I found around 2/28 of last year that her name can have a “sum”, by the more traditional method where A=1, and Z=26, of 227, if her last name, Grey, is split into Black and White, and summed that way. Another sum is 74. When I got on MySpace, the first social network that I used, my user ID was 7400227. I got it after I had awareness of her- but had forgotten, and when I got with M, who gave a “sum” of 227 total as names of exes, in one way.

I recently found that the numbers in Back to the Future, made from times at the Twin Pine, and then the Lone Pine in the alternate timeline, can relate with 209, when summed certainly, such as 1:16 as 76 minutes + 133 (a “sum” of her first and middle, from 1:33, and 76, is of Thomas), or 1:33 as 93 minutes + 116. I first found interest in these numbers, as 116 mirrored my birth-day, of 6/11, although it’s written as 11/6 in many places, and 133 I associated with her, already. 116 I saw as 1:56 (116 second or minutes is 1:56), on the weekend that I watched The Walk, made by the same director- Robert Zemeckis, on a weekend when I went to take a route to a place called Arbor Trace, which has an exit number 156. An ex, Alisha, had a full-name sum of 156, before she married a person, named Kody. The 156th prime number is 911. I met Alisha just before 9/11. Back to the Future was a favorite movie of hers- I remember her saying they were her favorites. To carry further this “translation”, or transforming of numbers, 1:33 is as 133 units of time, and that is 2:13. The 213th prime is 1303, which in ways mirrors 133. The circle in the center is of interest, because it was after he traveled through time- through a portal that that time was shown.

-Alisha had my mother’s maiden name, of Finch, and was the only one to have this name that I have met, in life, outside of family/my mother. She is also the only one of my exes to have an F, or a V, teeth-lip connection-sound in her actual name. “The Old Man of the Mothers.”

Finch, Baines-McFly (Baines has roots with a meaning of anvil, and McFly- to “black one of peace“)
Thomas (my last name), Thompson (Lea, or plays Lorraine)

Back to the Future was originally released July 3rd, 1985. July 3rd is the 184th day of a regular year. My mother’s name sum can come to 184, by standard, (A1Z26) methods.

My brain has shut off due to eating a lot of dates. Shut off, or changed gears, but I kind of want to take a nap.