music

today, i didn’t listen to music. i feel better. i was tempted many times. this isn’t at all to say that music is bad, or anything. without music, i wouldn’t know a lot of what i seem know. or have the experience that i have seemed to have had. …

i appreciate music.

but it’s all an attempt to write oneself, a lot of times. also an expression. so many things can be seen as this, too. too much sex is also not good. this shows an imbalance. too much eating is also not good. also, imbalance. too long of a shower, you probably “need it” (but you really don’t, you need something else). there are so many things we do – that we over-do. but this is not to say that over-doing things isn’t also for some purpose. we are a weird, wyrd thing, us. without the extremes, we couldn’t find a greater balance, in the extremes. to know the height, or deepness, weight, etc., that’s how we know how to move. like the saying about a bird falling, knowing gravity, before it can fly.

i don’t know.

i heard music when i went to see star wars.

then i heard it at the gas station.

before i went there, to the gas station, John Dawson- who is my dispatcher, and coworker, called me and asked me if i would do an after hours run on my way back. he wanted to see when i would be back. i told him about two hours. the name of the patient was Willie Cook. i saw some other names that sparked curiosity, but wanted to refresh myself on what his name meant – Dawson. it means “Son of David”. i forgot what David meant, but i associated it with Israel.

i opened my door there, at the gas station, and the first thing i heard was “light” from the speaker.

at some point while filling up a guy on a bike came rolling in very fast, with a bandana covering his face, and glasses over his eyes. he stopped apruptedly eith a squeeling of tires, on the other side of the pump. there was prominent orange coloring on his jacket, and the colors of his Harley were the signature colors of black and orange, like his jacket. another guy rolled up not too long after this, more slowly. at this time, i was getting in my car, and nodded to him when i sat, and he rolled by, as we made eye contact. he nodded as well. he also wore a black jacket, with a bigger orange stripe across his back. i had heard voices saying things about the orange current.

in reflection, or resonance with the Harleys, and guys outfits that rode them, before going to work, getting dressed i considered wearing a shirt that i wore for my previous job- at Velox (meaning “swift”, or “rapid”). it is black with orange and white lettering – this way because the boss-there really likes Harley Davidson.

also in reflection, i had thought about my previous entry, here, where i mentioned about the guy from Sons of Anarchy having his thumbs taken, in reflection with seeing last the word “Technology” before turning away (as i made the choice before, but eyes captured just as i turned away) in the credits of Star Wars, and said to myself “I accept that”, and remembered this guy- missing his thumbs says “I can accept that”.

down at my furthest stop, tonight, i delivered a pump. that was it. before leaving i saw on a magazine at the counter by the exit button a magazine called “Explore the Bible”. my name was written at the top of it.

picking up the delivery, at a 523 address in Mooresville, i noticed the pharamcist’s name was Ray. i reflected back on how ‘Rey’ was the star in Star Wars (along with Finn, or FN). at delivery, Reeves road, Plainfield, the order was signed for by Mark Jones. his vehicle is an orange Honda Element. the number on it is 181, which is one i associate with my dad, as this is a name sum. it’s also the plate number of John Dawson’s car, and also, at the furthest stop, the seemingly lead nurse’s vehicle, there (Vicki), but hers is black. John’s is white. black orange white.

Harley- “hare wood, or meadow”.

Davidson, like Dawson- “son of David”

there were other numbers, and things that i associated… but to try to get into it all, would be creating more holes in respects, as i don’t remember it all.

there was a semi with a solid orange trailer, getting back onto the interstate from dropping off paperwork and totes at the pharmacy, that passed by right as i got on.

i took a name down, earlier-beginning the route, on the south side of Indianapolis. a female voice said “attention deficit”. i took down the name of road that i passed by after she said this. Dahlia. later, after dropping off the order for Willie Cook, i looked up the meaning of this– “Daisy”. i had thought that i saw this name somewhere, back there. i looked for a road called Daisy around Indianapolis, finding one first out toward Avon. next to it on the map there is a label- Stormwatch. i associated this with Daisy Ridley, as Rey (as this was recent), and her association with a former stormtrooper, FN (John Boyega), and other opposition to her. this road here was Daisy Lane, off of Heather, from 36-Rockville Road.

then, showering, at Planet Fitness. Chloe and i touched fingertips as i gave her my keys with my card for her to swipe to check me in. her nails were a light pink color, and her hair- the turquoise/teal/blue that she dyed it. it was raining. this was the first time that we touched, and it was accidental, but not unpleasant. usually i avoid touching people. she has a laptop with a stormtrooper helmet sticker on it- like a day of the dead design with flowers all over it, and also, daisies. Chloe means “blooming”, or “young green shoot”.

back outside, as i left, i noticed that the closest vehicle in the row i was parked to the building had reflective tape around it’s plate, that read “on tour”. earlier today, i had written “touring test”, trying to write “turing test”.

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