What

Signing up for football. I never played football. It became Halo, and a couple of other games. In Halo, I am enjoying it, and playing ahead. In another game, it seems most of the other team quits. Ryan may have been there. I ask him to join the other team with me. Might have switched to yet-another game.

My mother may have been there. Children following where I’m not sure they should. A choice of marijuana, and David is saying that this particular one is the best that has been going around. It looks like an Artichoke (or something near), and then some kind of root vegetable. I don’t see how it’s marijuana. Many friends are gathered around. They all seem to want “the best” which doesn’t even look like marijuana. I seem to be the only one that sees it as not smoke-able marijuana, but a vegetable to eat, at best. David’s eyes get very red. He acts stoned, but he was already. J.R. is there, and some other friends. J.R. seems to not pay attention to what I say.

I see Donna with a guy who used to be my neighbor, and a girl, who is apparently his girl. She is friends with them, Donna is. No interaction takes place at first, but eventually we come together. She lays next to me, with me, and she’s very soft, and I tell her this. I become aroused, and embarrassed because of it, not wanting to ruin the “soft”. She tells me what I don’t intend doesn’t matter, or something.

I later see her. She is going to a salon, or something… where I seem to remember, in the dream, is the place where I get my haircut. I return something to someone, who is there. P.J. We’re separate- again, and don’t know each other, or aren’t in contact. I remember the neighbor wanted me to wear a blue, hooded coat, and rob some place. But I didn’t. But I wore the coat. With sunglasses. Disguise.

Donna keeps entering my dreams, and so does Marijuana. I basically eat marijuana on a daily basis… hemp seeds. Same species, different plant part. Donna, I think about, almost daily. I also think about others, though… But rarely, if-ever, dream about them. J.R. I rarely ever think about… but he nearly always invades my dreams. Back when I was going through a time where I was listening to voices daily, and actually trying to hear what they said (making it my daily goal), not that I don’t try to know what they say now, I just need to do other stuff in my day… they would often say Germ-Alone virus, which if you detach yourself from what you know about how to pronounce what is spelled, J.R.’s name, pronounced JERRR, with his last name, sounds like it. Some voices would call me a Germ-Alone, it would seem. I’m alone. I’m just a germ. I was isolating myself. I still do. I’m kind of nasty.

I was in Russia. Or that was the idea. I delivered a package to a house with a woman, and her son. Both were handicapped, and used wheelchairs or other devices. Another was with me, delivering, to another floor in the building.

Driving, in Russia, I noticed the roads were the same as in the U.S. Road-signs were the same on the interstate. The language was English. I found this to be strange. The city I was in was supposedly Moscow, but it looked nothing like my actual memory of photos of the place. It was more like an American city. Lots of ads were on buildings- skyscrapers. Logos. The one that I remember the most was the one for a postal service. It had the same logo as the USPS, but something about it meant a world postal service.

Came to a building… An old man climbed a ladder up to a “Tower”– “Tower” was on my mind, here. The ladder was in the back, and it had a curve to it, and then nothing but smooth surface. The old man made it up just fine, but to me, the ladder bars were with not enough surface, as they were very close to a wall. I could climb up using just my hands, but once I got to a certain height, I was afraid of falling. It took me a couple of tries.

Inside, something happened. Something was being released… A gas, or something…  It was painful. I’m not sure if it was a gas… but whatever it was, it was dangerous. Took a lot of strength to stay up. I’m not sure if I played any part in stopping it.

In another part of a dream, I remember talking to a lady who I associated with a teacher in high school, that I never had, about my job. At the end of the conversation, we hugged. I couldn’t tell if she wanted to shake my hand, or hug, so I hugged her. I had a strange attraction to her. I say strange, but perhaps it wasn’t.

Went to a place called Nature’s Pharm… but it wasn’t Nature’s Pharm. There was a guy there named Jeff… with a tattoo of his name on his back.  One was in the form of a gun. I commented and said that I have seen that before, too… that and a nail. He didn’t work there… but was just hanging out. It was also a head-shop. I felt stoned. I think I had just taken a hit of some marijuana. I seem to smoke a lot in dreams. “Caroline” (Candice Accola) from the show, The Vampire Diaries, was there. Every time I see her I feel “whoa”, “oh”, or something. Lovely. She was in a sexual position, unintentional. She was being examined, or something, for a health demonstration. The curves of her body were emphasized. A lot of attention was placed on her vaginal/anal area, as her legs were up. She was placed in a seat, and the seat fell to the ground. She laughed.

Apparently the store was supposed to be used for Navy Seals. Two men that worked there, one whispered in the other’s ear. It seemed a little to close to not be gay. Both were a little heavier. Another room seemed attached to this store.

A bag of hemp seeds that I had had dropped and was open. I got a different one.

Aaron Calhoon was there, at this store. I said goodbye, and felt sort of drunk/stoned. In the store, I could barely pick my feet up.

I remember taking a road trip with the Herdrichs. I think I was naked.

I remember a guy I used to work with. He had an infectious disease. I was doing something with samples, or something he needed. Older guy, but young in mind.

A joke about the beginning of the galaxy, or something, and my cat Bob. I found him at my parents house, in my old room, which looked like my old room when I was a child. There were “tinker-toys” on the floor, or something. I felt it was for a new child. Perhaps Will, or Ethan… my nephews. Colors red and blue, my bed’s comforter, like it used to be. Humor- I took it as… Bob seemed to fart, or there was emphasis on his anus, and this was when the thought, or words, “beginning of the galaxy” were said. Ha-Ha.

I looked up Caroline (Candice), from The Vampire Diaries, and found out it is her birthday, today (May 13th). Interesting I dreamt of her. There are very few women that really incite a reaction from me, in a particular way. Many, but few by ratio of how many there are. Not that I’m not attracted to others, but it’s a “reaction” when I see her… on that show.

I remember I had had surgery, or something. Perhaps I had been injured prior… I don’t know. But I had at least two things hooked up to me. One fed me, and one supplied morphine. Apparently the one that fed me was bad for my liver, and I feel my sister was close, here. I seem to remember her, and my mother- perhaps. I was supposed to breath, to take in the food. I was told when I was ready, to be off, that I would throw up a lot, but I remember when unhooked, I felt fine, and just waited to throw up, but never seemed I needed to. Apparently I had some toxins left in my body from the surgery, or what-ever it was… but again, I felt fine.

I don’t remember much else.

Kate and Ian were there– My cousin and her husband.

My sister and I went somewhere, and she had to have some kind of procedure done, that I remembered being done on me. Metal was placed under her chin… The under-side of her jaw. We were at Kate and Ian’s house. I remember Joe- Kate’s deceased father, acting out of personality. Quite goofy… funny. There were flowers in Kate’s yard. Large, strange flowers. I peed on a tree, trying to keep it private. They were all inside.

A time traveler. Something resembling back to the future. A bully, like a “Biff” or something, showed up, but as a completely different person. Like he was from an alternate reality. A place where the bully-person once was- a valley, was being leveled. Mowed over. Gotten rid of.

Yesterday, in my waking life, upon returning to Indianapolis from my run to Richmond, for my job, I saw a Delorean hook right where I went left. He went north on I-465, where I went south. This might have triggered something subconsciously, here.

In another dream, or perhaps connected, I remember being with Brian, a friend I haven’t talked to in ages. We smoked some marijuana. I think I got in trouble, perhaps with my mom. I remember I had been on a deserted, seemingly, beech, with Brian, far away from people… but then we weren’t alone.

And I remember being with my family. Vacation. I had my own car, though. At some point, they went on ahead, and I decided I wanted to go back home… but was stopped. We had been moving around quite a bit, and I was tired of it. But I was convinced to stay, and I remember being in a place with a lot of food. I was about to make some black beans… something that was on my mind last night. But last night it was more Garbanzos… which I ate today. I did something in error, emptying something that I didn’t mean to… saw Donna. Ignored her. Wouldn’t make eye contact. Then we came together at the place where I was going to heat the beans, and she was nice, making small conversation… and I had to be nice back, of course. I think she helped me, like handed me something, or something. Civil.

That’s about the end of what I remember.

In my dreams last night, I remember driving through very deep snow, all the sudden, and to my surprise not becoming stuck. I just kept breaking through.

At some point, I remember coming to a house. I forget details, but I remember parents, and their son. Also, they had dogs. They were like sled-dogs, and I thought that they were wolves. They very much looked like wolves. They seemed aggressive, toward me, but I showed no, or attempted to have no fear toward them… Showing only confidence and visualizing/projecting a positive future, in the seconds ahead.

The snow was feet deep. I remember coming to a place, seemingly through a tunnel, of snow, and we came to crystals in a wall. They were like ice, but they weren’t… Or perhaps in an exotic state, they were. I seemed to associate them acoustically. Or harmonically. I can’t really explain. Many became an ordered few. Something was special about this place.

And another part, I am on the road, in the back seat of a car, traveling with people. Some black people are behind us. Guys. One is pointing a gun at me/us. I keep wanting to signal to him that I’m calling the police, and I want to. He never fires, and I was never sure that was his intention. He seemed to be aiming through me. It was at me/us, but it was almost as if it wasn’t. Like he was just pointing a gun. I remember being in contact with police, or was thinking about what I was going to, or what I would say, at a mile marker on an interstate… The last number I saw was 22, so I figured by the time I’d speak with the police… I think I was waiting to speak with someone, but the call was made… it would be 23.

But soon we were at a city. I forget the name of the city, but it seemed on the way to our destination. St. Louis came to mind… but I don’t think we were there, or heading there. There was a very long bridge, and very pretty buildings. Very old-looking, but pristine. There was an elevator type thing, that went to the side of the bridge… or something. My group was about to go on it, but only a few at a time could go… or the others were simply waiting. A black guy, one of the ones behind our car/bus/van, that was in a car, he asked me, jokingly, if I would ever wear a bra. I said, “It depends on the person.”, as if I might do it for a girl, or someone. I meant it with humor, and in my mind, I thought about Walter Bishop, from the show, Fringe, matching some humor. I also thought about my father, and this all simultaneously with stepping onto this elevator.

The “elevator” was about 10 feet by 10 feet, and iron-like in composition, seemingly. 10 feet cubed. Iron-cage… Bars. A woman, and her children were on with us. A boy and a girl. The girl was blond. She jumped off the elevator as it was over the water, as we were touring, being drawn across, on a line, or something, by this bridge. She fell into the water, next to a small patch of land. The water was shallow, still, as we had just “taken off”. I seemed to try to grab a hold of her, to bring her back on… And she wanted back on, but from the land, tripped into the water, as a child might fall, uncoordinated. She was never in any danger, at this point.

In another scene/time/dream, I am chewing cheese, like what comes in packages to put in tacos, and then I remember I am allergic to dairy, so I spit it out. We are- Many guys are playing a game where we throw things at each other. I forget nearly all of this. One of the things we throw is a remote control.

I’ve been having some interesting dreams, too… though I haven’t been writing them down, and don’t remember at the moment.

I got a new car. It’s the first new-model car I’ve ever gotten. I just hope I can afford to make payments. That relies on if I get my new route/more deliveries. I could probably make due with what I have, as far as runs go… but I’d have to cruise at 60 mph or less to get the right MPG out of my vehicle, and not eat two bags of hemp seeds (one pound) per day, but 8 oz instead, and try to incorporate other things into my diet, and not munch enzymes like candy like I do sometimes.

My other route was supposed to start on the 26th of April, but then they canceled. Then they decided they wanted my company’s service, after-all… And it was supposed to start May 1st, but then someone died. Then it was “soon”/”Any day”, and now I have no idea. I am guessing that they may cancel, or start June 1st. Routes pop up all of the time, though. I am bound to get something else to add onto what I have. I just have to stick with things. I did pick up one extra day/run that I do very early Sunday mornings… that isn’t a bad deal– It’s just really late/early. I get to Lafayette, IN, at 3:30 A.M. Sundays and pick up specimens to bring back to Indy. If I could pick that up five days a week, it wouldn’t be bad, but another guy does it six days a week. I’m just giving him a day off. If I could, though, I’d be making plenty, and that run only requires at most about three hours of work.

The job has potential, for good income in little time… I just need to get those runs.

Anyways, my car is a 2012 Kia Rio. I had reservations about getting it, but I enjoy the stiff feel of it, and it rides smooth. It sort of gets blown around the road a little, but I guess looking at it optimistically, it keeps me occupied. Time passes fairly quickly in the vehicle, too, compared to my old Malibu, which was a drag to drive. This Kia came with three months of Sirius Satellite Radio, and I’ve been basically keeping it on two of three electronic/dance music stations. That could be helping with time passing by.

I enjoy it. It’s nice. It’s not the best, but it’s not bad.

I made a mistake, today, though… by cleaning it with a vinegar/water solution. I prefer the “New Car Smell”, even though it’s just toxins. I’m allergic to vinegar (yeast). More on the mistake… I used it on the windows, which was recommended from something I have read. Smudges, streaks… glare. Tried using a “green” window cleaner by Clorox, that I had sitting around in my apartment, and that didn’t do well, either. Actually that’s what made it the way it is, now. Before, I think there were just water spots from the municipal water that was mixed in with the vinegar. I’m going to need to use a heavy duty window cleaner to get it back to how it was. It was all an attempt to reduce the residue of chemicals on the materials, because apparently there are quite a bit left over from manufacture. I didn’t factor in, though… that the dealership gave it a cleaning before sending it off. Should have just left it alone. Had no issue from it yesterday, my first day driving it, other than a slight headache that went away quickly.

Right… But I’m glad I got a new vehicle. By the end of the night, I just want to use it some more, to make more money… to pay for it.

My mother made me two grilled cheese sandwiches before school. They were cut into halves. Four pieces total. I began eating them, before school, not remembering I was allergic to cheese, although I considered I was allergic to wheat. Apparently the protein in cheese wasn’t the main culprit in my milk allergy… that it’s the protein in the liquid part more so. I felt no reaction.

I had to re-take classes at the middle school, for some reason. I have had a few dreams like this, where I feel like I missed something a long time ago, and I have to go back and do it. Where I’ll face embarrassment, being a 28-29 year old in a place for at most, 14 year olds. Really when I think about it, there’s not much difference, but anyways.

I don’t remember actually going to class.

I remember being next door. My neighbor’s apartment. I’ve never actually been inside, but she was having a party, or something. She was really nice. The thought of her might be sparked by the fact that I smelled candles coming from her apartment yesterday, and heard a fire alarm go off because the dumb bitch feels the need to have the smokey mother fucking things in there… that make me tired… that make me sick to smell. She, or someone, also took down a sign I put on my door asking them to please stop using such fragrant products, because it literally makes me suffer, and totally unnecessarily. I suffer enough without their help. This is one reason I would vote for the extinction of people. They are fucking stupid, and inconsiderate. Totally unlike me, and my ideal. Not that I am not stupid, but I consider more than just about anyone that I know. I know how to love. Now, at least. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t kill if there wasn’t any consequence. I’d kill her. But I’d probably just remove her far away from me, first.

So there was this party. I ate sweet potato last night. I’m definitely allergic to it. In the dream there was insecurity, as usually happens when I eat sweet potato, for some reason. I at times had my shirt off. Her apartment had ashtrays and coke cans. Like sort of how I used to live. When I had my shirt off, sometimes I’d be insecure, about my lipoma showing. It looks unattractive. I went to touch her, once, and she was receptive, but I just put my hands on her shoulders/arms, and then let go, as I felt insecure and conscious of other girls near me, that I didn’t want to necessarily close myself off to. One of them looked like the Asian girl from the show, House, but I don’t watch with enough attention to remember many names. Another might have been someone I knew.

I went next door, and I was rooming with Charles, again. He was a roommate that I had a failed relationship with, while rooming, at IU. Roommate relationship, I mean. I ended up dropping out of school, and leaving, to work about two hours south. But In this dream, we were rooming again… and I remember he was about to use Tide detergent, the regular kind with coloring and perfumes… and I asked if he would instead use this unscented stuff that I use, and that if he would, I would buy it for the year. He agreed, not totally getting it, but he agreed.

Parking vehicles… certain ways.. then there’s a lot of space… Then filling space with tables, chairs.. etc..

A jump, to something else… I remember being in a forest. Some people were in a vehicle, and something was attacking them.

I remember swinging from trees, branches… not like a monkey, but not totally unlike one, either. I was smooth, graceful, and easily strong. I was low to the ground, but still on branches. Also, rocks. There were many people around, and they seemed to be doing similar things. One guy had a helmet on… like a bike helmet, and a walking stick, and he had this animal, that looked like a weasel/wolverine, but with much longer legs, and was larger. It was following him, like a dog. When I asked him what it was, he said a “Coon”, but I get the idea that it was a “Koon” spelled with a K. He said it was more related to a dog than a weasel… but the face looked like a weasel more, to me.

And then I remember seeing two T-Rex like creatures… dinosaurs. One, I think, had seemingly been attacking the people in the vehicle. Maybe we were trying to draw them away. I saw them from a distance. One group of people was attacking one, and One came after me, all still in these woods. From a ravine, I ran, and up a hill. Sparked-this perhaps by my walk in a park yesterday, being in these woods, and spotting people from far away, through the trees, and reflecting in my mind that I may have been a decent predator at one time. I had a long spear/stick, and this T-Rex looking dinosaur came up to me. I kept it pointed at it, and it didn’t attack. Soon, I had the idea that it didn’t even want to attack me. I put my hand out, and it kissed it. It said “Your Highness”. The others said that the other T-Rex ended up protecting them from something else… I got the idea that it was a flying thing, of sorts. This happened simultaneously with the “T-Rex” near me “kissing” my hand, multiple times, on my hand, and my recognition that it wasn’t trying to kill us. But why it was chasing just before… to get close? To protect? Just a dream.

But this was a party

i remember it being vivid, but i don’t remember a lot.

being a courier…

some strange, alien looking flying machines. “UFOs”, flying overhead.

a girl i have some limited contact with, as she is one of the girls at the checkouts at a grocery… i find us becoming intimate. she is taking her clothes off. not someone i’m usually attracted to, but i can’t resist.

at a doctors office, a child associated with someone close to me, has had surgery. it occurred just below his neck, on his chest, sort of where the collar-bones come to meet, or near. i’m sort of looking out for him, along with his father. he has his height taken down… marked on a wall by a doorway, by a sticker.

another female. they are all a little heavier than normal… thicker. not disgustingly obese or anything. this one is blond. she is “humping” me in the doctor’s office.

there’s also another, after her.

i remember a stat run came up, near my home, and i volunteer to take it. and i remember a reflection of my insecurity from my last run, that i had forgotten one sample up in Lafayette.

I remembered this dream, triggered by writing the one from last night/this-morning. This one happened yesterday.

I made a connection on Craigslist with a girl, somehow. I remember being somewhere with lots of people, and meeting her there. I felt reluctant. I wasn’t attracted to her. I was sort of using her for marijuana, but she was interested in romance. They had really good marijuana, or good enough. Pleasureful to smoke. She had a twin sister. Both of their faces were riddled with red spots.

On a roof, somewhere… near.

Inside, and my friends hide from them… the girls, and their group. I feel bad about this. They took some secret doorway to a secret room to hide. I led the way to it, wanting to be nice.

On the rooftop, it seemed… a blond headed girl sat up against me, on my lap. I enjoyed this. But even though I didn’t like the one twin in that way, I felt bad, and wanted to hide this blond headed girl, or this… at least for a time.

Last I remember, is a girl walking, who seemed to be cybernetic. Or, she had machine parts. She had a hole in the back of her jaw, under her ear, and seemed to walk with a limp, as the robotic part couldn’t keep up. She had children. Only one was with her at the time, though… or that’s what I am remembering, perhaps. It’s not clear. Others around her were also with robotic parts. The world didn’t seem that prosperous here. She was my friend’s wife… A doctor. I wondered why she couldn’t afford to get fixed.

Just previously, I had been with my friend– Someone who I hadn’t seen in years. Haven’t seen in years. I had him and both of his children– A blond little girl, and a younger brown headed boy. I remember the girl as a baby, in a picture, on her mother’s Facebook profile. I don’t remember the boy. I was driving a van, and it seemed Alston was there, and so was Craig. Nate- the father, his face was red and splotchy, like he had some kind of infection or skin disorder. Somehow, I almost put the van I was driving into a ditch, but I managed to pull it out. We were all but fully stuck.

We were on our way somewhere. I don’t know where, exactly, but it had something to do with high school– Probably the last place I had a stable peer group. I went to college, but bounced around those, and had problems making friends outside of the institution of public school systems, where I got years to warm up to people. I just felt it was fake, in college. For the most part. There might have been a couple, or one that I warmed up to, who was new. But anyways, my dreams often, if they have people, they have people from high school.

We were on our way to something with my home-town people.

And I remember sleeping with Erin. I remember she came over, and we spent time with each other. Why she’s in my dreams, I have no idea. It has just been recently. We were somewhat intimate, but there seemed to be a maturity about it. To take it slow. She even told me it was sort of a bet between her and some of her friends, to play a guy, and I was that guy, but it turned into something more real. No kissing, just laying next to one another. Some light touching. She said goodbye.

I don’t know about the placement of that time.

I remember my brother writing me and telling me he had grown some marijuana, and had enough for one joint, and he wanted to try it. I was having a conversation with him, and my father, at nearly the same time, through text. I didn’t want my father to know, but I was excited my brother was interested in this plant. He seemed to want my support/advice. At some point, I was shown what he had grown, and it was just a little bit. He was excited there was a seed. I think I accidentally mixed my weed in with his when I put it back into the bag he brought, when he did. But they were easily distinguishable from one another. He was happy there was one seed. I told him I saw a few more, and popped a couple out, and he was worried I was breaking up his bud, asking, won’t that break it, or something, as he wanted to preserve the nug until he smoked. I basically shrugged, in my response.

I remember hearing from him, and he explained that the was thinking about thinking… and about how Jill was just Jill… How he hadn’t thought this way before. I was happy he was enjoying it, but wondering how he did it without his wife knowing.

Drove something into a place that had a lot of containers, and salt lamps, and other things. Jeff- the owner of Nature’s Market, seemed to own this place, as well. The outside doors were plastic, see-through, like what someone might set up around a temporary lab to deal with some disease. Not heavy-solid, but the kind you can quickly set up… like a tent.

Back with Nate, and Alston… we were at the place where we were going, and I remember being in an audience. Brandon looked at me, smiled, and brought me a microphone, and I was supposed to say something. I had no idea what to say, and what did come out sounded ugly, and horribly low. People laughed. I knew I had a better voice than that. Erin was there, too. After, I was sort of ignoring her, although I looked for her, as she was one of the performers in whatever it was… when I was speaking in the microphone, and around then, because I worried mainly what she thought of me. I ignored her because I couldn’t face her after my embarrassment, but she appeared, and seemed to brush up against me intentionally, putting her weight on me. When she started to move away, I grabbed her by her jeans- the waste of, and pulled her near me. She acted like we were nothing, from the night before, and told me “No, you’re too big for me.”

I was sort of depressed/mad about this. Apparently it was all just a joke between her and friends. Alston seemed interested in consoling me, as I was mad. We stayed around, there was a parking lot. There was a rock concert which I caught part of. A guy was drumming on various things, and that’s what kept me. I didn’t care much for the music. Many from my town had bought tickets, but I was broke. I remember the singers, some part of their song involved hurt fingers. A guy came up to my immediate group, of Nate, Alston… and told us we had to leave. But we said we worked there, or someone with us did. We stayed a little while longer.

Then we moved to a church, or what seemed to be a church. I saw programs… and in them, pictures of a theater group. At least two people I recognized from high school. One was Erin, and the other, a guy- I forget his name. Richard something. One show Erin was part of, that seemed popular, was called Neto. Pronounced “Neat-O”. Next I looked, they were in Star-Trek outfits, and part of the new Star-Trek series, in this program-flyer. But I tried to see Erin, and her face was cut off by the program details, which were slightly transparent, to let her image through, just not as well as I had just seen it. She seemed prominent, though.

In that room, my group took seats in many areas. I took a seat next to a girl named Christina. Alston next to a guy near the front, and Nate, somewhere else… to my right, of my position. One girl was naked, and when I saw her, she wrapped herself in plastic. She made out with her boyfriend. One guy started tossing tennis-balls at me. I missed the first one or two, but then timed it right, and caught both at the same time. They had both hit my forehead. Then he switched to golf-balls, and I said no.

We seemed to be waiting, on the concert.

And then I remember the girl walking, with cybernetic parts.